08-22-2007, 07:05 PM | #1 |
~Rest In Peace~
Join Date: May 2005
Location: CALIFORNIA NOR CAL
Posts: 9,707
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troubleshooting guide
BEER TROUBLESHOOTING GUIDE
SYMPTOM CAUSE CORRECTIVE ACTION Feet cold and wet Glass Being held at incorrect angle. Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling Feet warm and wet Improper Bladder Control Stand next to nearest dog, complain about lack of house training Beer unusually pale and tasteless a. Glass empty. b. You're holding a Coors Lite Get someone to buy you another beer Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights You have fallen over backward. Have yourself leashed to bar Mouth contains cigarette butts, back of head covered with ashes You have fallen forward See previous Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet a. Mouth not open b. Glass applied to wrong part of face Retire to restroom, practice in mirror Floor Blurred You are looking through bottom of empty glass Get someone to buy you another beer Floor moving You are being carried out Find out if you are being taken to another bar Room seems unusually dark Bar has closed Confirm home address with bartender. If staff is gone, grab a six-pack to go and hit the nearest fire escape door. Run Taxi suddenly takes on colorful aspect and textures Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations Cover mouth, open window, stick head outside Everyone looks up to you and smiles You are dancing on the table Fall on someone cushy-looking Beer is crystal-clear It's water! Somebody is trying to sober you up Punch him People are standing around urinals, talking or putting on makeup You're in the ladies' room Do not use urinal! Excuse yourself, exit and try the next door down the hall. Try to get phone numbers (optional) Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear You have been in a fight Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in You've wandered into the wrong party See if they have free beer Your bedroom is painted gray, has a concrete floor and an interesting steel door. Toilet may be conveniently located next to your bunk a. You're in jail b. You're in the navy Sleep it off, you can always get out tomorrow. Don't talk to your new roommate, and under no circumstances sleep on your stomach You are dancing to a Village People song, and your partner is wearing leather chaps You're in a gay bar Keeping your back to the wall, edge toward nearest exit. Do not accept offers for backrubs Your singing sounds distorted The beer is too weak Have more beer until your voice improves Don't remember the words to the song Beer is just right Play air guitar
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is it fast ? it has a lighting bolt donut? B___H please, I can remove 90% of your so called "beauty" with a kleenex |
08-23-2007, 08:36 AM | #2 |
Nobody rides free
Join Date: May 2005
Location: PA
Posts: 1,076
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Re: troubleshooting guide
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'71 C10 LWB 400SB/350TH '86 K2O LWB 350SB/400TH-6" tuff country lift, Shackle flip - plow truck '06 HHR - wifes wheels '01 Blazer - daily driver "It's better to burn out than it is to rust." -Neil Young |
08-23-2007, 09:53 AM | #3 |
Still Truckless!
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Valrico, Florida
Posts: 3,166
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Re: troubleshooting guide
One of the best troubleshooting guides I've ever read.
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08-23-2007, 09:58 AM | #4 |
Registered User
Join Date: Apr 2006
Location: oklahoma
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Re: troubleshooting guide
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08-23-2007, 01:42 PM | #5 |
Tot Roddin'
Join Date: Apr 2005
Location: Mid-MO
Posts: 24,461
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Re: troubleshooting guide
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-Nate 1969 CST SWB - Project Blank Slate (4.5/6" ECE Static Drop, 6-lug disc brake upgrade (manual), Billet Specialties Vintec 20x8.5 255/40 (F) 20x10 295/40 (R), 250 I-6) 1960 AMF Skylark - Tot Roddin' (Lowered with custom frame; soon to include custom push bar and interior) 2008 Silverado CrewCab 1LT (5.3L, 3:73, 4x4, LT1, Z-71, Towing Package) |
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