Joke Thread - Page 10 - The 1947 - Present Chevrolet & GMC Truck Message Board Network

**Palf70Step** · 11-27-2020, 05:32 PM

**richard2717** · 11-28-2020, 02:33 PM

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**Ol Blue K20** · 11-28-2020, 02:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by richard2717

...

**Stocker** · 11-28-2020, 08:17 PM

Well Richard, that is Premium Starter fluid. Maybe you don't have a Premium starter?

**Ol Blue K20** · 11-28-2020, 09:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stocker

Well Richard, that is Premium Starter fluid. Maybe you don't have a Premium starter?

I agree it looks to be a mopar starter. They're throw away units. No fluid required.

Sevens · 11-28-2020, 11:23 PM

My friend thinks he is smart.

He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry.

So I threw a coconut at his face...

Sevens · 11-28-2020, 11:24 PM

Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Seven."
Teacher: "No, listen carefully... If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Seven."
Teacher: "Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Six."
Teacher: "Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?"
Johnny: "Seven!"
Teacher: "Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!"
Johnny: "Because I've already got a freaking cat!"

Ok, I'll show myself out...

**Steeveedee** · 11-29-2020, 05:52 PM

**GOPAPA** · 11-29-2020, 07:29 PM

Windows already paid for

Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive,double-pane, energy-efficient kind.

Today, I got a call from Home Depot who installed them. The caller complained that the work had been completed a year ago and I still hadn't paid for them.

So, I told him just what his sales guy told me last year--that these windows would pay for themselves in a year---

**Sheepdip** · 11-29-2020, 09:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Steeveedee

Must not have cleaned them, when they didn't clean them on jobsites they would burn em down. They got cleaned real regular after that.

**richard2717** · 12-02-2020, 09:24 AM

A fellow went hunting in the Northern Minnesota woods. He leaned his shotgun against the corner of a fence to take a leak. As luck would have it, his dog knocked the gun over, it discharged and Lyle took an ounce of bird shot in the groin.
Several hours later, lying in a Duluth hospital bed, he came to and there was his doctor, Sven.
" 'Vell Lyle, I got some good noos and some bad noos. Da' good noos is dat you're going to be OK. Da' damage vas local to your groin, 'dere was very little internal damage, and I 'vas able to remove all of da' buckshot.
"What's the bad news?", asks Lyle.
" 'Da bad noos is 'dat 'dere 'vas some pretty extensive buckshot damage done to your tool. I'm gonna' have to refer you to my sister, Lena.
"Well, I guess that isn't too bad," says Lyle. "Is your sister a plastic surgeon or what?"
"Not exactly," Sven says. "She's a flute player in da' Minneapolis Symphony Orchestra. And because all you have is Obama-care, she's going to teach you where to put your fingers so you don't pee in your eye."

**Palf70Step** · 12-02-2020, 12:06 PM

**The Rocknrod** · 12-02-2020, 12:10 PM

That's funny right there.

**Ol Blue K20** · 12-02-2020, 01:05 PM

cornerstone · 12-02-2020, 01:34 PM

HAHAHA!!!!

**davischevy** · 12-02-2020, 09:52 PM

**davischevy** · 12-02-2020, 10:01 PM

Johnny and Donnie were two rather raucous young brothers. Their mother being at her wits end, decided to ask the pastor to talk to the boys.

She sent Johnny first. The pastor asked Johnny "Do you know where God is?". Johnny sat there in obvious stress. The pastor asked again "Do you know where God is?"

Johnny jumped up and ran out of the church and all the way home and into the house yelling "Donnie, God is missing and they are blaming us."

**Steeveedee** · 12-02-2020, 10:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by davischevy

Johnny and Donnie were two rather raucous young brothers. Their mother being at her wits end, decided to ask the pastor to talk to the boys.

She sent Johnny first. The pastor asked Johnny "Do you know where God is?". Johnny sat there in obvious stress. The pastor asked again "Do you know where God is?"

Johnny jumped up and ran out of the church and all the way home and into the house yelling "Donnie, God is missing and they are blaming us."

Those boys still believe that god is missing. I wonder why that is?

**davischevy** · 12-02-2020, 11:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Steeveedee

Those boys still believe that god is missing. I wonder why that is?

Common problem these days.

**Ol Blue K20** · 12-02-2020, 11:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Steeveedee

Those boys still believe that god is missing. I wonder why that is?

Quote:

Originally Posted by davischevy

Common problem these days.

I agree!

**richard2717** · 12-03-2020, 09:27 AM

...

**Ol Blue K20** · 12-03-2020, 09:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by richard2717

...

that's actually true.

**GOPAPA** · 12-03-2020, 10:34 AM

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**A1971Blazer** · 12-03-2020, 12:36 PM

**truckster** · 12-03-2020, 12:53 PM

Having both carbureted and fuel-injected vehicles, I can see the truth in both of those...

11-27-2020, 05:32 PM	#226
Palf70Step State of Confusion! Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Gulfport, MS USA Posts: 46,611	Re: Joke Thread __________________ Bill 1970 Chevy Custom/10 LWB Fleetside 2010 Toyota Tacoma PreRunner SR5 Double Cab - DD Member of Louisiana Classic Truck Club (LCTC) Bill's Gallery Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift. Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God!

11-28-2020, 02:33 PM	#227
richard2717 Equal opportunity joke ofender Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Eastern Shore of MD Posts: 9,867	Re: Joke Thread ... Attached Images __________________ Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.

11-28-2020, 08:17 PM	#229
Stocker 20' Daredevil (Ret) Join Date: May 2003 Location: Jefferson State Posts: 13,495	Re: Joke Thread Well Richard, that is Premium Starter fluid. Maybe you don't have a Premium starter? __________________ - Mike - 1972 K20 LWB 350/350/205 RIP El Jay

11-28-2020, 11:23 PM	#231
Sevens Registered User Join Date: Dec 2019 Location: Sacramento, CA Posts: 99	Re: Joke Thread My friend thinks he is smart. He told me an onion is the only food that makes you cry. So I threw a coconut at his face... __________________ -Tim '65 GMC that identifies as a Chevrolet

11-28-2020, 11:24 PM	#232
Sevens Registered User Join Date: Dec 2019 Location: Sacramento, CA Posts: 99	Re: Joke Thread Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven." Teacher: "No, listen carefully... If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven." Teacher: "Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Six." Teacher: "Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?" Johnny: "Seven!" Teacher: "Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!" Johnny: "Because I've already got a freaking cat!" Ok, I'll show myself out... __________________ -Tim '65 GMC that identifies as a Chevrolet

11-29-2020, 05:52 PM	#233
Steeveedee Who Changed This? Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Simi Valley, CA Posts: 10,081	Re: Joke Thread __________________ ~Steven '70 Chevy 3/4T Longhorn CST 402/400/3.56 Custom Camper Simi Valley, CA

11-29-2020, 07:29 PM	#234
GOPAPA "Tail Gate Best Seat In House" Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Nampa Idaho Posts: 7,338	Re: Joke Thread Windows already paid for Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with those expensive,double-pane, energy-efficient kind. Today, I got a call from Home Depot who installed them. The caller complained that the work had been completed a year ago and I still hadn't paid for them. So, I told him just what his sales guy told me last year--that these windows would pay for themselves in a year--- __________________ When you learn a thing a day you store up smart.

12-02-2020, 09:24 AM	#236
richard2717 Equal opportunity joke ofender Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Eastern Shore of MD Posts: 9,867	Re: Joke Thread A fellow went hunting in the Northern Minnesota woods. He leaned his shotgun against the corner of a fence to take a leak. As luck would have it, his dog knocked the gun over, it discharged and Lyle took an ounce of bird shot in the groin. Several hours later, lying in a Duluth hospital bed, he came to and there was his doctor, Sven. " 'Vell Lyle, I got some good noos and some bad noos. Da' good noos is dat you're going to be OK. Da' damage vas local to your groin, 'dere was very little internal damage, and I 'vas able to remove all of da' buckshot. "What's the bad news?", asks Lyle. " 'Da bad noos is 'dat 'dere 'vas some pretty extensive buckshot damage done to your tool. I'm gonna' have to refer you to my sister, Lena. "Well, I guess that isn't too bad," says Lyle. "Is your sister a plastic surgeon or what?" "Not exactly," Sven says. "She's a flute player in da' Minneapolis Symphony Orchestra. And because all you have is Obama-care, she's going to teach you where to put your fingers so you don't pee in your eye." __________________ Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type. Last edited by LockDoc; 12-02-2020 at 11:58 AM.

12-02-2020, 12:06 PM	#237
Palf70Step State of Confusion! Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Gulfport, MS USA Posts: 46,611	Re: Joke Thread __________________ Bill 1970 Chevy Custom/10 LWB Fleetside 2010 Toyota Tacoma PreRunner SR5 Double Cab - DD Member of Louisiana Classic Truck Club (LCTC) Bill's Gallery Life isn't tied with a bow, but it's still a gift. Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God!

12-02-2020, 12:10 PM	#238
The Rocknrod Moderator Join Date: Aug 2011 Location: China Spring, TX Posts: 7,280	Re: Joke Thread That's funny right there. __________________ Master Chief, US Navy, Retired 1964 C10 Step-side Short Bed - In Progress 2009 2500HD Duramax LTZ 1948 GMC Panel 1956 Big Window Stepside 1953 5 Window Chevy Stepside 1932 Coupe New Seat Foam for Bench Seats?

12-02-2020, 01:05 PM	#239
Ol Blue K20 Proprietor of Dale's Corner Join Date: Nov 2012 Location: Vacaville , CA Posts: 15,834	Re: Joke Thread __________________ "Some Days Chickens And Some Days Feathers" Dale XNGH ECV Sam Brannan 1004 R.I.P. 67ChevyRedneck R.I.P. Grumpy Old Man

12-02-2020, 01:34 PM	#240
cornerstone Registered User Join Date: Apr 2014 Location: Azle,Texas Posts: 2,249	Re: Joke Thread HAHAHA!!!! __________________ Brian 1972 C10, "Loyd", LWB to SWB, 5.3, L83/6L80e, 4:11 Tru Trac, Air Ride, VA, DD, 20" Coys, 4 wheel disc, A quick LS swap turned into a 6 year frame off resto-mod.

12-02-2020, 09:52 PM	#241
davischevy Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Harrison, Arkansas Posts: 9,786	Re: Joke Thread __________________ other Larry Build thread, Arkansas K10 https://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/...=755797&page=5 The ability to speak several languages is an asset, but the ability to keep your mouth shut in any language is priceless.

12-02-2020, 10:01 PM	#242
davischevy Senior Member Join Date: Sep 2008 Location: Harrison, Arkansas Posts: 9,786	Re: Joke Thread Johnny and Donnie were two rather raucous young brothers. Their mother being at her wits end, decided to ask the pastor to talk to the boys. She sent Johnny first. The pastor asked Johnny "Do you know where God is?". Johnny sat there in obvious stress. The pastor asked again "Do you know where God is?" Johnny jumped up and ran out of the church and all the way home and into the house yelling "Donnie, God is missing and they are blaming us." __________________ other Larry Build thread, Arkansas K10 https://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/...=755797&page=5 The ability to speak several languages is an asset, but the ability to keep your mouth shut in any language is priceless.

12-03-2020, 09:27 AM	#246
richard2717 Equal opportunity joke ofender Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Eastern Shore of MD Posts: 9,867	Re: Joke Thread ... Attached Images __________________ Members I have met. Dually Jams, OlBlue60, ScottH, Tommyboy24, Dujobo, Warbucket, 2003 Silverado, Notsolo, my90k5, 6t727t2, Special-K ,Jack_71C10, tabarcus,72blazer_mud_bogger,pwdcougar,RSavage,EricSean,1Rippen6,invicta455,tennaragtop71,arks, Kendal,Bennett68C10, Perpendicular, Chainsawman, McGeesCustomMinis,ShortbedClayton,longblue72,6768chevylover,Tim71,Travisarmenta,Ol' Drippy,fleetmitch,georgieb51,Dave,bcnya2,Dadsburb https://paypal.me/6772GMtruckparts Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.



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12-03-2020, 10:34 AM	#248
GOPAPA "Tail Gate Best Seat In House" Join Date: Oct 2007 Location: Nampa Idaho Posts: 7,338	Re: Joke Thread __________________ When you learn a thing a day you store up smart.

12-03-2020, 12:36 PM	#249
A1971Blazer Senior Member Join Date: Nov 2013 Location: East Tennessee Posts: 2,107	Re: Joke Thread __________________ 1967 C10 Step side 1968 C10 Step side 1970 Chevrolet K/5 Blazer 1972 Chevrolet K/5 Blazer .............

12-03-2020, 12:53 PM	#250
truckster Senior Member Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Orem, Utah Posts: 7,791	Re: Joke Thread Having both carbureted and fuel-injected vehicles, I can see the truth in both of those... __________________ I have sworn upon the altar of God, eternal hostility against every form of tyranny over the mind of man. - Thomas Jefferson

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