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Old 11-19-2017, 05:51 PM   #1
special-K
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Drunk Guy Walks Into Bar

A drunk guy walks into this bar, no money, wants a beer. Bartender says "Ya gotta pay". The drunk asks "If I throw this dart in the bullseye from here, would you give a beer?" "All right, I gotta see this". The drunk nails it, the bartender slides him a beer, figures he'll mess with him a little and says "That was so good you win a prize" and pulls a turtle out of a box. The drunk guzzles the beer, and the bartender tells him to get on out. The next night the drunk walks by and sees it's a different bartender, so he tries it again. This bartender takes him up and sure enough the drunk was dead-on. The bartender hands him his beer and tells him "Drink that up and hit the road". The drunk says in a disappointed voice "The other bartender gave me a prize". Somewhat amused, the bartender asks the drunk "Oh really? So what was this prize?" and the drunk says "He gave me a rare roast beef sandwich on a hard roll"
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Last edited by special-K; 11-19-2017 at 07:13 PM.
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Old 11-19-2017, 10:22 PM   #2
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Re: Drunk Guy Walks Into Bar

Want another funny joke?

An Irishman walks out of a bar.

That's it
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Old 11-19-2017, 10:53 PM   #3
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Re: Drunk Guy Walks Into Bar

A Priest, a Rabbi and a Reverend walk into a bar.

The bartender says "What's this? Some kind of Joke?"
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Old 11-19-2017, 11:48 PM   #4
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Re: Drunk Guy Walks Into Bar

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Old 11-20-2017, 12:09 AM   #5
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Re: Drunk Guy Walks Into Bar

A guy walks into a bar, orders 12 shots and starts drinking them as fast as he can.

The bartender asks, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?"

The guy says, "You would be drinking fast, too, if you had what I had."

The bartender asks, "What do you have?"

The guy says, "75 cents."
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Old 11-20-2017, 01:20 AM   #6
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Re: Drunk Guy Walks Into Bar



A man walked into a bar.







He said "ouch!"
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Old 11-20-2017, 11:47 AM   #7
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Re: Drunk Guy Walks Into Bar

Bars are funny places, especially just before closing time.
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Old 11-21-2017, 06:38 AM   #8
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Re: Drunk Guy Walks Into Bar

Aguywalksintoabar. Ok, now that we got that part over with. "Hey bartender, I'll bet you 20 bucks I can bite my eye". "What the...? Ok, entertain me, you're on". The guy pops his glass eye out, bites it and pops it in. "Pretty disgusting, but here's your twenty". "Yeah, I know. How about another bet? 50 bucks says I can bite my other eye". "WTF, ok, whatever, you're on". Guy takes his false teeth and bites his other eye. "Holy crap, you gross SOB. Here's your fifty, now get out of here". "Ok, ok, sorry about that. I'll give ya a chance to make it back. I bet you $100 I can stand on the end of the bar and pee into a pitcher at the other end without missing a drop". "Yeah right! Ain't no way. You are on!" Guy climbs up and pees a stream from himself to the pitcher maybe getting a few drops in. The bartender is wiping it right up, comes to the guy with hand out,
"Ok buddy, you lose, I finally the got the best of it. Hand over the hundred and git". "Yeah, you got your hundred alright. But earlier I bet those five guys over at that table $100 each I could hop up on the bar, pee all over it, and you'd wipe it up with a smile"
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"BUILDING A BETTER WAY TO SERVE THE USA"......67/72......"The New Breed"

'67 C1500 Wideside Super Custom SWB: 327/M22/3.42 posi...project 'Driver Quality'
'72 K2500 Wideside Sierra Custom Camper: 350/TH350/4.10 Power-Lok...'The 72'
Tim

"Don't call me a redneck. I'm just a rough cut country gentleman"

R.I.P. East Side Low Life __________ R.I.P. El Jay_____________ R.I.P. 72BLUZ _____________

Last edited by special-K; 11-21-2017 at 08:14 AM.
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Old 11-21-2017, 07:44 AM   #9
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Re: Drunk Guy Walks Into Bar

guy walks into a bar, sits down and says "10 shots of whiskey, fast please".

Bartender pours ten shots and asks "Why are you in a hurry?"

guy slams them down right quick and says "you'd be in a hurry if you had what I have"

bartender asks him "What do you have?"

guy slurs out "seventy five cents" and leaves
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