Laws not taught in Physic

[463]

Laws not taught in Physic

Law of Management
Nothing is impossible if you do not have to do it yourself.

Law of Mechanical Repair -
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you'll have to pee.

Law of Gravity -
Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.

Law of Probability -
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of Random Numbers –
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal; someone always answers.

Variation Law -
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.

Law of the Bath
- When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring.

Law of Close Encounters -
The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result –
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, IT WILL!!!

Law of Biomechanics -
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of the Theater & Hockey Arena –
At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once,

The Coffee Law -
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Murphy's Law of Lockers -
If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Physical Surfaces -
The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich landing face down on a floor are directly correlated to the newness and cost of the carpet or rug.

Law of Logical Argument -
Anything is possible IF you don't know what you are talking about.

Law of Physical Appearance –
If the clothes fit, they're ugly.

Law of Public Speaking --
A CLOSED MOUTH GATHERS NO FEET!

Law of Commercial Marketing Strategy -
As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it, OR the store will stop selling it!

Doctors' Law -
If you don't feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there, you'll feel better. But don't make an appointment and you'll stay sick.

[Steeveedee]

All true, and not taught in Physics class, because they aren't Physics. Except for the one about toast landing butter side down, which isn't on the list.

[kwmech]

When owing your own business there is a direct correlation to the telephone ringing when either sitting on the can or the first bite of lunch.

[richard2717]

I have tested most of these and found them to be correct

[Keith Seymore]

Originally Posted by 463

Murphy's Law of Lockers -
If there are only 2 people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Hardware Store Corollary:

If there are only two people in the hardware store they will both need to be in front of same nuts/bolts selection.

K

[Keith Seymore]

Originally Posted by Steeveedee

All true, and not taught in Physics class, because they aren't Physics.

Agree. They are irrefutable "Laws of Nature".



Observations regarding "Items of Length":

When pulling long items, like hoses or extension cords, they will give enough to provide the user with confidence and then lodge solidly on the first wheel or wood block they come in contact with. These items can also become sentient, and entangle themselves around your ankles, like a cat.

Other Laws regarding Gravitational Pull:

The one about dropped items finding the geometric center of the underside of vehicles has already been covered.

Here is another: when working underneath the vehicle any dropped items will hit you squarely in the face.

Also - the drop light WILL fall, no matter how securely placed, and will break the bulb in doing so.

K

[Steeveedee]

Totally true! Also, if the torch pops when you are welding exhaust pipes underneath the vehicle, the slag WILL land in your armpit.

[Keith Seymore]

Other Laws of Probability:

If there is one broken pencil in a container full of otherwise usable pencils - I will grab the broken one.

When dealing with a ring of keys the one that works is the last one available to try.

K

[68C15]

Originally Posted by kwmech

When owing your own business there is a direct correlation to the telephone ringing when either sitting on the can or the first bite of lunch.

That law didn't apply to a speed shop I dealt with in Illinois. I was talking to him on the phone and he started urinating. Then he dropped the phone in the toilet

[pwdcougar]

Originally Posted by Keith Seymore

Also - the drop light WILL fall, no matter how securely placed, and will break the bulb in doing so.

K

That’s why they call them “drop” lights!

[68Timber]

Law of the Projector - No matter where you sit in the movie theater, the person who sits in front of you will be tall, loud, or both.

[68bowtie]

OMG these are so funny (and so true). The extension cord (or hose) one bothers me the worst. It catches EVERY time you try and drag it in. But somehow every time you try to hook something just out of reach it always misses.

[Keith Seymore]

Originally Posted by 68bowtie

OMG these are so funny (and so true). The extension cord (or hose) one bothers me the worst. It catches EVERY time you try and drag it in. But somehow every time you try to hook something just out of reach it always misses.

I know, right?

Lately I've taken to unintentionally hooking my sleeve, or my belt loop, on the door handle as I leave the house. That stops you in a hurry.

Usually I say "wow, I bet I couldn't do that again in a million years" only to have it happen again the next time I walk out the door.

K

[kingsolver72]

Originally Posted by Keith Seymore

I know, right?

Lately I've taken to unintentionally hooking my sleeve, or my belt loop, on the door handle as I leave the house. That stops you in a hurry.

Usually I say "wow, I bet I couldn't do that again in a million years" only to have it happen again the next time I walk out the door.

K

You have one of those “wait a minute” door handles.
Trust me, I know about stuff like that.

[Keith Seymore]

A few minutes ago I was exiting through the garage and the stairway banister went up the back of my unzipped coat.

I am not making this stuff up.

K

[Steeveedee]

Oughtta rename this the jinx thread.

Many years ago I was working on a car in the street and dropped a wrench. Of course it slid along the gutter and went into the storm drain. I had a monster screwdriver that I used to pry things with to tighten up fan belts. I used it to pry up the manhole cover and go down in there to get it. That was in the '70s and it was a Snap-On wrench. Those things are expensive!

[Sheepdip]

Originally Posted by 68bowtie

OMG these are so funny (and so true). The extension cord (or hose) one bothers me the worst. It catches EVERY time you try and drag it in. But somehow every time you try to hook something just out of reach it always misses.

Yep..If I ever jump from a plane forget the parachute, give me an electrical cord...it'll hang up on something on the way down!

[Steeveedee]

Originally Posted by Sheepdip

Yep..If I ever jump from a plane forget the parachute, give me an electrical cord...it'll hang up on something on the way down!

With my luck, it'll probably hook onto a cloud, and people flying by in airplanes will be looking at me with puzzled faces.