argument with significant other--Help me please LOL

[spacedebris]

Ok guys and gals. I know this is way off topic which is why I'm posting in the general area. And I know this is strange...but hopefully you guys and gals can help me save face here.

Ok this has to do with the sheets on you bed. Told you it was going to be a little weird. Let me start at the beginning...Its a bit long so forgive me.

Ever since I was little I have been a big person (heavy) and I also toss and turn all night long. No matter how comfortable I am, I am a fitful sleeper. It doesnt bother me at all as I get well rested but I'm always moving. Because of this, my sheets do not stay put. When I was a tween, I would have to re-tuck the fitted sheet and mattress pad under the mattress every morning. I really got sick of doing this and talked to my mother about it. She got me something called a "sheet corner strap". basically it looked kind of like a garter and it pinched the sheet and stretched across the corner to give more purchase for the sheet. In theory it was a good idea but one version of it would not grip the sheet firmly enough and the sheet simply slid out and gave me the same issue as before. The other version we found had a thin metal "grip" and though it gripped firmly it would actually slice right into the sheet and start rips. Very frustrating to say the least. Ok this went on for about a year and I was still having the same issue. In some cases I would have to get up in the middle of the night to reattach the sheet because it was bunching up under me. So one day I was getting ready to go out into the field with my grandfather to feed the cows. I was finally old enough to be trusted around the bull (a-bit ornery). Well as I was lacing my boots up, I had an idea flash. That evening, I took a new set of sheets that I bought the week before and took it to my mom and asked her to sew 10 small loops to the fitted sheet. 2 on each corner (about 6 inches down from the corner) and one on each side in the middle length-wise. Once she did I bought me some LONG boot laces and layed them down between my mattress and box spring. Made the bed and then used the loops to simply tie the sheet down. It pulled the sheet very snugly to the mattress and it worked beyond my greatest hopes. I had tight sheets on my bed every day with no hassle. For me it was perfect. Granted it took a little extra effort every week on laundry day to untie and retie the sheet down. But it worked.

Flash forward nearly 30 years (god, has it really been that long ) and I'm still doing it. When I got together and had my girlfriend move in, I showed her what I do and told her why. At first she seemed fine with it but she didnt have the strength to wrestle the mattress to do the fastening so she would have to wait for me to strip the bed and remake it on laundry day. Well like most guys I didnt pick up on the "hints" and "clues" that she was apparently dropping about how much this extra work (even though I was the one doing the actual work) nagged her. Supposedly it is very "inconvenient" for her to have to wait for me to strip the bed when she is ready to do laundry at a moments notice. So last month she bought new sheets, had her girlfriend come over and help her strip the bed while I was out and remade it with the non altered sheets and left it untied. Thought I would not notice or something. Well an hour after I went to bed I woke up with the sheet bunched up under me. I figured that after years of use I probably just wore out a boot lace. So I tucked the sheet back in place in the dark, and still half asleep went back to bed. Next morning I started stripping the bed thinking I'd inspect the laces and see how many I should replace. To my surprise I found that this was an unaltered sheet. So I asked her if she would sew the loops on that afternoon and I'd put it back together when I got home.

This is when I found out how much this peeved her. She told me in no uncertain terms that she would no longer sew loops on the sheets. That it was stupid and people do not have problems keeping the sheets on the bed. I informed her that I had to get up in the middle of the night to fix it and that when I got up that morning I was laying on the mattress and not the sheet at all. It had completely pulled out over night and ended up piled between us in the morning. She told me I was off my rocker and things like that simply do not happen to normal people and that she was done sewing loops on. Well her mistake was thinking I could not sew them on myself. Granted she is a great seamstress and she likes to sew, so I had just always had her do it for me. But after the second set of sheets that my mom did for me as a teen, she made me to it myself from then on. Granted I'm not great with a sewing machine, but I can sew on the loops, put buttons on shirts, and even in some cases make crude repairs to my jeans. So when she went to the store, I took the sheets, sewed on the loops, and made the bed.

A week later she went to strip the bed, found what I had done and hit the roof. She threatened that she would just grab the scissors and cut the loops off. Which started our marathon argument for the last few weeks. I even tried a compromise and said that I would attach large buttons to the sides of the mattress and we could sew in button holes on the sheets and button them to the mattress so that it would make it easier on her to take the sheets on and off. But she says I'm missing the point, that I do not need any kind of "helper product" to keep sheets on.

So today, I made a bet with her. I bet her that there were plenty of other people that had issues with the sheets coming loose and that a lot of people use some form of "helper product" to keep the sheets snug. This is where I hope you all can help me. Am I alone in having issues with keeping sheets snug and attached or do many of you also use purchased or homemade remedies. This is where it gets scary for me. I opened my big mouth in the heat of the moment and said that if others do not use any devices to keep the sheets snug that I would stop insisting and simply leave the sheets unmodified and drop the whole thing. But IF I win, she has to drop it and let me go on with the loops and bootlaces as my preferred solution.


Sorry for rambling for so long, but me and my big mouth got me into this and I hope I'm not wrong. I know this seems a bit silly but this has kind of grown out of control and taken on a life of its own around home. Thanks for reading.

[truckster]

The mattress pads in my motor home have something similar that is like a long elastic that goes under the mattress, so your idea isn't a bad one.

But having been married for well over 30 years, I have one piece of advice for you: You can be right or you can be happy. You choose.

Good luck.

[treveiger]

Happens to us a lot if we toss n turn but I got a new mattress and now sleep with no pillow to help my back. it's better but on ruff nights it still happens. I'm 24 if that helps, me and my wife both move a lot sometimes. Try a gel matress maybe. My wife is amazing, she understands all my little habits of doing things as well as I do hers. It's a compromise you have to make when in a relationship. Maybe try something different to make it work?

[68shortwide]

Same, ill fall asleep on one side laying face down and wake up sprawled across the other side on my back lol bunched up sheets are annoying, I'd pull mattress pads out from under mattresses as a kid because of toss n turn. Like you my mom knows her way around a sewing machine (she likes to quilt and such) and she did exactly what yours did! Only we used a single piece of clothes line. You're not crazy at all! We used a tie from a drawstring Nike bag and it's held up pretty well she just takes the tie off and throws it in line and all. Good luck and happy sleeping

[Leinie]

I'm not a fitful sleeper, but my wife is a little. When she rolls, she clenches the blankets and they roll with her. It usually doesn't bother me, unless the sheets come untucked. If that happens, I wake up and redo the bedding, or I won't sleep. That's just how it is.
You have a great solution figured out, she needs deal with it

[Joe Pass]

Have you tried "match.com" ?

[Gregski]

friends don't let friends tuck in their sheets, LOL

[Livrat]

I just let my wife read your dilemma and it made us both chuckle, We agree with you! Even though our issue is not as severe as yours we both dislike wrinkled bunched up bottom sheets and have tried a few different things from the "corner" straps to modified suspenders (which by the way do end up ripping the sheets),
We do like your method of boot straps and sewing loops in the sheets, My wife said she would sew them in if I would do the honors of changing the sheets ALL the time. Hmmmmm.. not sure if its that important to me, First I think I will modify the corner straps by cutting off one end and attaching them solid to a couple of places on the box spring sides.

[cableguy0]

I'll trade problems with ya.

[dieseldawg142]

yeah, it happens with us, but the sheets always only come off my side....(a conspiracy?)
what i'm not crazy about is the duvet blanket. keeps you real warm, if you can keep it. so many times the wife ends up with the duvet (in the cover) while i end up with the empty part of the cover, gets cold in the winter.....

[imjeff]

So in reading your post I see that the sheets coming loose don't bother you, but tucking them in every morning does. So you have loops sewn in your sheets and lash them down with boot laces to not have to tuck them in every morning? I'm having a really hard time understanding the problem...other than your wife does more so you can do less? Let it go unless you're willing to do the laundry, make the bed each morning and do all the sewing. BTW, wives generally don't like the "mom did it for me" argument!

[spacedebris]

LOL, thanks guys.

iamjeff, actually the bunched up sheets do bother me which is why it wakes me and I frequently have to re-tuck in the middle of the night. I just feel better with nice tight sheets under me.


Thanks for all the support guys! I agree that if she aint happy, no one's happy but I should have just kept quiet and let it go but as usual my mouth disconnected from my brain and got me in trouble like usual. You ever have one of those moments you wish life was more like a cartoon? You say something you wish you could simply grab the words coming from your mouth and stuff them back down your throat? Thats what got me in this situation.

But she posted the same story to her facebook page, from her perspective anyway. She figured her friends would help her out and give me an earfull. But surprise of surprises, her friends all sided with me. So this afternoon she relented and so long as I keep doing all the work, she will let it go.


I think this will just cost me a weekend at the bed and breakfast instead of a diamond this time.

[Liz]

The fact she never told you from day one is an issue. The whole arguments is dumb and avoidable. Truth and give and take...

[crossfire84]

Been married many years and if theres one thing i learned is this. Your wife is always rite, even when she's wrong she's rite!

[TJ's Chevy]

Single so I sleep alone so I have NO idea what goes on at night in my bed.

[68C15]

this argument is but a small piece of the cake. You need to step back and look the whole thing over. Is this the kind of cake you like?

[crazy longhorn]

From the read, I take it that you did not get married yet? My little bro asked me about the crazy little woman, that he runs with? My response, was ...bro, you can ask me about cars/trucks, & a bunch of other things....but women, I DO NOT have figured out yet I feel that your gal is being unreasonable....if you care enough, your best shot is both of you in professional counciling....at that point, you will find out if it is worth the work (both of you), or if you should both move on? I have heard it said, & heard it here.... " a man can be right, or he can be happy"? I don't buy into that BS....If I need to walk somebody else's way, for my life....I will not be happy Longhorn

[TennesseeZ]

Back when I slept on waterbeds, I had something like this, (look at the first image), which worked like a champ. You can hold both sheets at the foot of the bed, and only the bottom sheet at the head. They seem to be out of production now, or at least not available on Amazon, but if you can find them they should solve your dilemma. Another suggestion is to modify your original strap idea to use velcro.
Here's a couple more links to the "paddle/button" style": Waterbed sheet keepers

[ERASER5]

Aw sheet! (Somebody had too...)

Now that we have an adjustable bed, I have problems with the fitted sheet coming off. With bed flat, the sheet is tight. With the head up 6 inches and the foot up 3 inches, the sheet is loose. BUT my back is no longer killing me every morning! I'll take the sheet popping off a couple of times a week over the old back pain every time! No sheet!

[alsriv2]

Got an adjustable bed myself...best thing ever for my wife and I. One thing we had to do was convert to the "deep Pocket" sheets. Some stores even offer different pocket measurements. I think Bed, Bath and Beyond does this. 17", 18" and 19" deep pockets if my memory serves me. Once we started using these type of sheets, problem solved. No more straps or ties downs to keep sheets on the bed.

These sheets are not cheap, but can solve the problem.

[ERASER5]

Originally Posted by alsriv2

Got an adjustable bed myself...best thing ever for my wife and I. One thing we had to do was convert to the "deep Pocket" sheets. Some stores even offer different pocket measurements. I think Bed, Bath and Beyond does this. 17", 18" and 19" deep pockets if my memory serves me. Once we started using these type of sheets, problem solved. No more straps or ties downs to keep sheets on the bed.

These sheets are not cheap, but can solve the problem.

Yea, my wife got the BB&B deep pocket sheets, but with the head & foot of the bed up, there is no tension on the pockets. The deep pockets are much better, but not fool proof. The tension between me and the wife is not up for discussion...

[Daddy'O]

Same problem as you, so I fall into the abnormal category. But unlike you, I keep on sleeping and I fix the sheet in the morning. Sorry.

Will Rogers said, "There are two theories to arguing with a woman. Neither work."

Glad you two have come to an agreement!

[67ChevyRedneck]

If I were your wife I'd let you know that the couch doesn't need sheets!




Sorry, I have nothing to add... I'm a turner but I don't rip the bed apart. We have a king size tempurpedic.

[Advanced Design]

We had this problem until we bought a Tempurpedic mattress. It was kinda pricey and worth every penny as I don't toss and turn anymore...just crash out for a good nights sleep.

[toms68cst]

Sew tennis balls into your pajamas on every side but the one you want to sleep on. Then every time you roll over, the discomfort of the tennis balls will make you flip back over right away. Before long, you will not be a tosser-turner!

If you sew a bunch of tennis balls into your pajamas, take and post lots of pictures!