Laugh At Yourself Thread

[pritch]

Last week I rebuilt the mono-jet on 'Ol Green. It came out good and runs great now, and no more gas leaking out or anything like that. I am really impressed at how well it cleaned up:







Now, how can I get the carb cleaner smell out of my dishwasher?

[franken]

I write software for a living.
~A year ago I got involved w/ puppet.
No longer sure who the puppet is...

[hewittca]

Originally Posted by franken

I write software for a living.
~A year ago I got involved w/ puppet.
No longer sure who the puppet is...

haha!

Now I know there are many times I've said to myself, "You stupid idiot!" but for some reason I cannot recall the instances that caused me to say that. I guess I did not commit them to long term memory out of embarrassment...

[Ol Blue K20]

I just did something so stupid it's almost embarrassing. I got up made coffee got in the shower. When I got out of the shower I went to pour my coffee and I had made a pot of hot water. Apparently the grounds are a very important ingredient...

[flashed]

That does make for some very weak coffee ,been there and done that ,probably got the T shirt somewhere .

[Ol Blue K20]

Originally Posted by flashed

That does make for some very weak coffee ,been there and done that ,probably got the T shirt somewhere .

Yeah, my ex wife was here to babysit the grand daughter. She laughed at me and called me an idiot.

[FleetsidePaul]

Originally Posted by Ol Blue K20

Yeah, my ex wife was here to babysit the grand daughter. She laughed at me and called me an idiot.

If I had a dollar for every time my ex wife (wives) called me an idiot.

I might get back some of the money I spent getting rid of them.

[Ol Blue K20]

Originally Posted by FleetsidePaul

If I had a dollar for every time my ex wife (wives) called me an idiot.

I might get back some of the money I spent getting rid of them.

.....yup!!!

[FleetsidePaul]

Yeah they stole my heart, then took everything else.

[rharris]

Originally Posted by FleetsidePaul

If I had a dollar for every time my ex wife (wives) called me an idiot.

I might get back some of the money I spent getting rid of them.

I wish all my ex-wife called me was an idiot..........

[FleetsidePaul]

Originally Posted by rharris

I wish all my ex-wife called me was an idiot..........

Yeah I guess only being called an idiot is on a good day.

[FleetsidePaul]

I was at the market with my wife. She takes forever to do her shopping, so sometimes I wander off and look at stuff.

So I look around and come back and she's standing by the meat counter. She starts pushing her cart and I'm following her when this guy comes up and starts talking to her.

So I ask him "What are you doing?

He says "I'm talking to my wife' and he looks pissed.

This woman turns around. AND IT'S NOT MY WIFE! I've been following some random woman around the store like some sort of perv.

So I say I'm sorry, I thought she was my wife, she looks just like my wife, I guess I need to pay more attention.

This guy is still looking at me like he wants to kill me, and he's a pretty big guy.

Luckily my wife comes around the corner, and I say "Oh there she is' and the woman says "She really does look like me'

This guy is still glaring at me.

I figure it's time to leave.

My wife laughed at my stupidity all the way home.

[special-K]

My ex-wife never called me an idiot. Being one herself, she was very sensitive to the use of that word.

I've screwed up making the coffee every way I can. It makes a creepy sound when you forget the water. When I forget to pull the lid down it keeps puking hot water back into the tank. When you forget the coffee it's very obvious. At the other end I'll be fixing up the coffee while fixing up the oatmeal. I've come close to dumping the oatmeal into my coffee mug instead of the bowl. I have had cinnamon in my coffee that was supposed to go in my oatmeal. Dumped blueberries in my coffee. Cream in the oatmeal wasn't bad

[slomotion]

I was beat up by a '52 Chevy one time.
The front of the car was on jack stands, the right front wheel/tire was off the car, and the hood was up. I don't remember what I was trying to do as it was a long time ago, but remember the "three strikes" perfectly!
I was doing something down by the starter and managed to short out my wedding ring between the "hot" wire to the starter and a ground. (6 Volts, gazillion amps.) The ring immediately glowed red but I had the sense to pull it off before the blister raised on my finger. Strike one.
I then tried to smack the hood with my fist, but the edge of the raised hood caught my forearm before my fist hit the top of the hood...Ouch! Strike two.
Now I'm getting pretty spun up and I tried kicking the brake drum, but it was too far under the fender and the fender edge caught me in the middle of my shin. Ouch! Strike three!
I just sat down on the back step staring at my own "Christine" when my wife came out wondering what the commotion was all about.
I told her the car beat me up. Her concern for me was under-whelming. "Oh, OK." To this day I'm sure she was snickering when she went back in the house.

[PanelDeland]

Tried 3 different coil wires on one once. Finally went and asked my buddy to come by. He's real "Hand" with electrical. No dice. So I gave up and the next morning I walked out, saw the rotor laying on the bench and had it running 5 min later. Duh.

[Deer_hunter_088]

Heres mine: okay so i wired a push button start to my k10, and here i am trying to get the thing to crank, and crank. but nothing. i even so as much test lighted al the electrical connections, to no avail, 3 hrs later i look at the steering coulum and the key is off, and i was lookin for shorts and all that. LOL but hey it runs now!!!!!!!!!!

[dammitmitchell]

SO... My precious daughter is 15 now.. (some of my posts are going on like 8 years old!)..
well..
I bought a 91 GMC dually with a 454 in it.. hehe. i was showing her the ropes of old school iron trannys and suddenly got that teenage bug in my booty... well apparently an old dually can still do donuts in the back 40!

now its sitting next to the shop waiting for me to get to the clutch replacement.
ten minutes of fun, and hours of work to go.

Guess guys never stop trying to impress girls with their old trucks huh?

[El Dorado Jim]

Originally Posted by FleetsidePaul

I was at the market with my wife. She takes forever to do her shopping, so sometimes I wander off and look at stuff.

So I look around and come back and she's standing by the meat counter. She starts pushing her cart and I'm following her when this guy comes up and starts talking to her.

So I ask him "What are you doing?

He says "I'm talking to my wife' and he looks pissed.

This woman turns around. AND IT'S NOT MY WIFE! I've been following some random woman around the store like some sort of perv.

So I say I'm sorry, I thought she was my wife, she looks just like my wife, I guess I need to pay more attention.

This guy is still looking at me like he wants to kill me, and he's a pretty big guy.

Luckily my wife comes around the corner, and I say "Oh there she is' and the woman says "She really does look like me'

This guy is still glaring at me.

I figure it's time to leave.

My wife laughed at my stupidity all the way home.

thats funny stuff right there!!!!!!

[special-K]

I took a cross-country flight to purchase a '72 and drive back home. I had all necessary things in order in a big envelope. The guy picks me up, I check out the truck, drive it, Like it, now time for the business end. And that's when I discovered I had somehow forgotten to put the cashier's check in that envelope!!! Here I am in California on a one way flight standing next to the truck I am in live with and have no way to pay for it.I can't describe what that felt like...15 layers of you dumbass running 'round my head. It was drawn on Bank of America, should have been no problem. But, we went to a branch and, for whatever reason I can't recall, they couldn't do anything for me. To my good fortune, the guy ended up allowing me to take the truck with no title till I sent the cashier's check. SWEET! So, I had thousands of miles to laugh at my idiot self every time I thought of it. Also, a few opportunities to tell my tale and laugh along with others each time. Leaving the house for important things like catching a flight were always stressful and tense when I was married and all the unnecessary cackle would throw my brainwaves off. I think I had taken it out to triple check it was made out right while pacing around ready to go. What an idiot!

[Orange67]

My brother in law (we married sisters) is a great nurse, but NOT mechanically inclined whatsoever. He had a Nissan Altima and needed to replace the starter. When I work on a vehicle, I have a mental checklist, but when I got there, he already had it up in the air hood up ready for me. Well, he busts out a couple of beers, and climbs under the car to start removing the starter as I instructed him to. He winds up electrocuting himself on the wiring for the starter, and climbs out for a break. After the wives laugh at him for a few (and a few more beers) I got out and start removing the battery cable so it won't happen again. The wrench slips, and I lay my hand open pretty bad. No problem, he's a nurse. I tell him you aren't stitching me up, he replies no, I have some durabond which is like super glue. With my right arm between his right arm and ribs, him facing away from me, he begins to apply the special glue. A couple of minutes go by, and suddenly OW!! what the hell, Jim?? Again, OW!! twice more. He had apparently glued his hand to mine attempting to hold my cut together. The wives STILL cry from laughing about that one......

[hamjet]

Many years ago when I was still young and supposedly still had my wits, my wife and I took our german shepherds to a local club to brush up on some obedience training getting ready for trials. while out on the floor going through some exercises I looked down at my shoes and realized I had not only two different shoes on, but different colors. I laughed so hard every one stared at me, the gig was up. I think I started a fad after that...

[Coley]

Special-K...that is classic...and I can 'somehow' perfectly imagine that sinking, hot feeling that sets in as the situation starts to add up....and suddenly knowing that you didn't bring the cheque....lol.

Now...I would post up a few of mine...but I don't have that much time this week and I would be here through the upcoming weekend finishing the incidents off.

all Good
Coley

[67ChevyRedneck]

Originally Posted by FleetsidePaul

I was at the market with my wife. She takes forever to do her shopping, so sometimes I wander off and look at stuff.

So I look around and come back and she's standing by the meat counter. She starts pushing her cart and I'm following her when this guy comes up and starts talking to her.

So I ask him "What are you doing?

He says "I'm talking to my wife' and he looks pissed.

This woman turns around. AND IT'S NOT MY WIFE! I've been following some random woman around the store like some sort of perv.

So I say I'm sorry, I thought she was my wife, she looks just like my wife, I guess I need to pay more attention.

This guy is still looking at me like he wants to kill me, and he's a pretty big guy.

Luckily my wife comes around the corner, and I say "Oh there she is' and the woman says "She really does look like me'

This guy is still glaring at me.

I figure it's time to leave.

My wife laughed at my stupidity all the way home.

My wife has very distinctive red hair. Went to a hockey game last year and the line looked long, so I dropped her off in front of the ticket booth and parked the truck. Got in line behind a girl with red hair and a white hoodie. Stood there for a couple minutes, played with my phone, then said, "hey baby, what do you want to do for dinner tonight", the girl turned around and definitely not my wife... oops. I don't think she knew I was talking to her so I just got out of line and kept looking... a few seconds later I got a "where are you" text from the correct red head.

[Coley]

Originally Posted by 67ChevyRedneck

My wife has very distinctive red hair. Went to a hockey game last year and the line looked long, so I dropped her off in front of the ticket booth and parked the truck. Got in line behind a girl with red hair and a white hoodie. Stood there for a couple minutes, played with my phone, then said, "hey baby, what do you want to do for dinner tonight", the girl turned around and definitely not my wife... oops. I don't think she knew I was talking to her so I just got out of line and kept looking... a few seconds later I got a "where are you" text from the correct red head.

...what would make that situation even funnier would be if the 'other' red head turned around and said...'how about pizza back at my place'...lol
That would take some fancy verbal stickhandling tho' to tell that story socially with the wife in the same room.
For some reason....those types of stories with that kind of response don't always go over so well....lol

C

[special-K]

A good batch of dumbass for the day... all of them! Here's one along the lines of these couple mistaken identity ones. When I met my ex-wife when she was just my new girlfriend and everything was great (follow me?) she had long straight brown hair down to her waste...and I was crazy about it! She had her two young ones and lived in an apartment building. This was odd for me because I'm a country boy and at the time was living in a farm house fenced in the middle of a cow pasture. Had to open the gate at the road and navigate the cow pies in the driveway. Plans were for me to run down there that evening, so after work I ran down the hiway in my stock '55 1st Design I was driving at the time. get down there and across the parking lot I see Jason & Shannon (my step children to be) on the swings and my X with her back to me (yeah,that long long hair). I slip across the lot, come up from behind, slipped my hands around front to cup a couple nice things she had, nuzzled my face in her hair, and kissed her neck. Did I mention the gal upstairs had hair and a build just like hers? Yeah, apparently my X had to run an errand and asked this gal to hang with the kids till I got there. Awkward...yet quite nice. I laughed at myself, this gal blushed and laughed, and when she (not me) told my X later,she wasn't laughing . She could have used a better sense of humor.