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Old 02-14-2020, 09:50 AM   #1326
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Re: Post your keep up with Richard funnies

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Old 02-14-2020, 11:33 AM   #1327
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Old 02-15-2020, 03:44 AM   #1328
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Old 02-15-2020, 04:08 AM   #1329
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Old 02-15-2020, 04:10 AM   #1330
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Old 02-15-2020, 04:37 AM   #1331
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Old 02-15-2020, 04:38 AM   #1332
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Old 02-15-2020, 04:40 AM   #1333
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Old 02-15-2020, 08:36 AM   #1334
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Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.
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Old 02-15-2020, 09:48 PM   #1335
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Re: Post your keep up with Richard funnies

A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he floored it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little gray hair he had left. Amazing, he thought as he flew down I-94, pushing the pedal even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a state trooper behind him, lights flashing and siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, What am I doing? I'm too old for this, and pulled over to await the trooper's arrival.

Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch, and said, "Sir, my shift ends in 30 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I've never heard before, I'll let you go."

The old gentleman paused. Then he said, "Years ago, my wife ran off with a state trooper. I thought you were bringing her back."

"Have a good day, sir," replied the trooper.
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Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.
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Old 02-15-2020, 09:50 PM   #1336
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Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.
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Old 02-15-2020, 11:12 PM   #1337
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Old 02-16-2020, 05:23 AM   #1338
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Re: Post your keep up with Richard funnies

Fashionable.

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Old 02-16-2020, 09:25 AM   #1339
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Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.
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Old 02-16-2020, 03:16 PM   #1340
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Most women like the strong, silent type… Fortunately for me, my wife prefers the out-of-shape, mouthy type.
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Old 02-16-2020, 03:35 PM   #1341
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Old 02-16-2020, 08:39 PM   #1342
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Re: Post your keep up with Richard funnies

A cowboy, who just moved to Montana from Texas, walks into a bar and orders three mugs of Bud.

He sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn.

When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more.

The bartender approaches and tells the cowboy,
"You know, a mug goes flat after I draw it.

It would taste better if you bought one at a time."

The cowboy replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers.
One is in Arizona, the other is in Colorado.

When we all left our home in Texas, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together.

So I'm drinking one beer for each of my brothers and one for myself."

The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.

The cowboy becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way.
He orders three mugs and drinks them in turn.

One day, he comes in and only orders two mugs.
All the regulars take notice and fall silent.

When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my
condolences on your loss."

The cowboy looks quite puzzled for a moment, then a light dawns in his eyes and he laughs.

"Oh, no, everybody's just fine," he explains.

"It's just that my wife and I joined the Baptist Church and I had to quit drinking."

“It hasn't affected my brothers though."
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Old 02-16-2020, 08:41 PM   #1343
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Old 02-17-2020, 12:05 AM   #1344
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Re: Post your keep up with Richard funnies

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Old 02-17-2020, 12:25 AM   #1345
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Re: Post your keep up with Richard funnies

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Old 02-17-2020, 12:38 AM   #1346
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Re: Post your keep up with Richard funnies

Two men were digging a ditch on a very hot day.

One said to the other, "Why are we down in this hole digging a ditch when our boss is standing up there in the shade of a tree?"

"I don't know," responded the other. "I'll ask him."

So he climbed out of the hole and went to his boss. "Why are we digging in the hot sun and you're standing in the shade?"

"Intelligence," the boss said.

"What do you mean, ?intelligence'?"

The boss said, "Well, I'll show you. I'll put my hand on this tree and I want you to hit it with your fist as hard as you can."

The ditch digger took a mighty swing and tried to hit the boss' hand. The boss removed his hand and the ditch digger hit the tree.

The boss said, "That's intelligence!"

The ditch digger went back to his hole. His friend asked, "What did he say?"

"He said we are down here because of intelligence."

"What's intelligence?" said the friend.

The ditch digger put his hand on his face and said, "Take your shovel and hit my hand."
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Old 02-17-2020, 04:20 AM   #1347
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Old 02-17-2020, 10:07 AM   #1348
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Re: Post your keep up with Richard funnies

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Asts
I think this little girl lives at the corner of Inyo and Butte!
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Old 02-17-2020, 10:19 AM   #1349
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Re: Post your keep up with Richard funnies

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Two men were digging a ditch on a very hot day.

One said to the other, "Why are we down in this hole digging a ditch when our boss is standing up there in the shade of a tree?"
This was the first joke I learned and I wore it out! I was about 7, and I think every person I would run into was told that joke, whether they wanted to hear it or not...

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I find it hilarious that a company of any size won't do any research on what their product name means in other languages. We have a large bakery company out of Mexico that sells a ton of stuff locally who's name is Bimbo. I get a chuckle every time!
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Old 02-17-2020, 12:33 PM   #1350
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Re: Post your keep up with Richard funnies

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I find it hilarious that a company of any size won't do any research on what their product name means in other languages. We have a large bakery company out of Mexico that sells a ton of stuff locally who's name is Bimbo. I get a chuckle every time!
Chevy No Va ?
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