Vandalism Question and slight damage

[MASTERBrian]

Trying to figure out going about getting a quote for body work. Long and short of it is I have someone that is actually a friend of my brother, so I know him fairly well. He is just one of those basic jerk types of people and he's done stuff like this before, I'm tired of it and thus am considering taking action....

Got my '60 Burb registered on Friday before Mother's Day and on Mother's Day, I was cruising through the hood with the kids and this fool, whom was at his In-Law's same block I live, decided it would be 'funny' to kick a ball similar to soccer ball up in the air and right out into the street in the direction I was coming. The ball went up about 30' in the air, I lost it behind some trees, but when it came down it smacked the top of my Burb, very hard. At first I didn't think there was any damage and I actually parked at my house before looking it over. It was about dusk, so hard to see, but once I was able to get a good light on it, I was able to find a wave in the sheet metal of the roof and a polished looking spot where it was obvious something had made contact and it was the only spot I could find. To top it off, there is some paint flaking off in the area.

To step back a little, if the fool would have apologized I probably would have let slide as I haven't painted the truck and really don't have any immediate plans to do so. It has surface rust, etc, but the body is pretty straight. At the end of the day, he and his wife are acting like we are harassing them because I asked if he was going to pay for any damage and they're telling us to stop harassing them and I'd be wise to back off. I filed a report with the police and they label it as vandalism.

The issue is under normal light it's incredibly hard to see and like I said there is surface rust on the top in spots where paint is missing, etc. Am I totally fighting an uphill battle if I run this to a body shop for an estimate and how would you proceed? I kind of think the body shop might think I'm crazy...I don't mind the 'patina' look and eventually I'm sure I'll paint her and then have to fight this damage to get the metal perfect in this area. Again, I'm only wanting to move forward, because I feel like he's trying to bully us into leaving him alone and he's done similar things before and I'm tired of it.

[MASTERBrian]

Well, ended up finding a body shop that could provide a quote for this age of vehicle. He easily felt a dent and quoted out $481.60 for paint, labor, materials. My wife isn't sure I should pursue.....

[B. W.]

I have found that in life you sometimes have to choose between being right & having a relationship. If he is someone you deal with regularly you might want to let it slide. On the other hand, if he's always acting like a jack-wagon maybe you push the point. Maybe you show him the estimate & tell him you forgive him & you don't expect him to pay but hope he shows a little more respect for others in the future? (take the high road) I believe this is the best chance to impact him in a positive way. Might make a difference, might not. Not much help am I.

[MASTERBrian]

Originally Posted by B. W.

I have found that in life you sometimes have to choose between being right & having a relationship. If he is someone you deal with regularly you might want to let it slide. On the other hand, if he's always acting like a jack-wagon maybe you push the point. Maybe you show him the estimate & tell him you forgive him & you don't expect him to pay but hope he shows a little more respect for others in the future? (take the high road) I believe this is the best chance to impact him in a positive way. Might make a difference, might not. Not much help am I.

Actually, it is helpful. I might actually sit on the quote for a while and ponder things. He is not someone I want to be great friends with as we don't see eye to eye on many issues, but unfortunately our lives inter-twine. His wife actually got a job as a teacher at the school my youngest still attends...and his kids might be life-guarding at a pool we are members of. I'm just sick of people thinking their actions don't matter and that they can do no wrong and their actions aren't punishable.

I've thought about texting him the quote and asking if he's ready to man up and come discuss it. I'm tempted to send it certified and give him so many hours to pay up or go to court...he's admitted via text he kicked the ball and that he has a yard full of witnesses...his point was that it wan't on purpose....still should show guilt in court of law. I'm also considering just sitting on it till the next few meetings and see how he acts and then go from there.

As I mentioned we are members of a pool and so are they, several people at the pool already know what happened and my stance, it opens this weekend. One of my thoughts, if I end up deciding to sue or even if he just pays up, is to show it isn't really about the money, just the principal of it, is to take some of the money and host a cookout thanks to him!

[MARTINSR]

Personally....I would forget about it. The "damage" is so microscopic it means nothing and if he handed you the money you wouldn't have it fixed anyway.

He didn't say he was sorry because not all of us have manners. It doesn't make him evil, just rude.

This reminds me of a video I just saw recently. The guy is a jerk for making a big deal about the other guy speaking Spanish. But the guy he was out of line with keeps pushing and pushing and pushing and HE then becomes a jerk bookend with the other guy if you ask me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lRUtisD3ZHE

Life is too short, forget about it and go on knowing you are the better man.


Brian

[68c10airstream]

You are dealing with someone that has issues probably dating back to childhood, so these are deep seated!! Remember there is always someone that is smarter, tougher, more stubborn, wealthier, etc, than he is and it's a matter of time before gets into trouble and someone re-arranges his snot pump. Sit back and wait for the fireworks and enjoy!!

[Dead Parrot]

Having gone this far, backing off might send the wrong message and reaffirm that he can keep doing crap that harms others. It is less about the money then getting him to grow up.

Questions to ask yourself: Is he someone with a revenge streak? What does his wife think about the situation? Is she likely to support him if he decides to "Get you back." Could this put you or your kids at risk?

If you decide to pursue action, sounds like the definition of a small claims court case.

Is the damage something that can be buffed out and repainted? Is it something he could do? Maybe letting him fix the damage he caused would both send the needed message and avoid going down the bad path.

[MARTINSR]

These are the questions I think of when I don't like what someone has done. This is a VERY good guide to dealing with your wife.

1. What are the chances of this happening again?

2. If the answer is yes, it may happen again, what will I saying something do to change it?


These are VERY important life questions. I live by them (or at least try to) think about it. Your wife, your son, your neighbor, your co-worker does something, ask that 1. question. What are the chances of this happening again? a HUGE portion of the time when you ask this question the answer is never, it will never happen again. So why in the world say anything? It will never happen again anyway!

So then we go to question 2. Yes, it may happen again, what will I saying something do to change it? Ok, yep, there is a possibility it will happen again, honestly ask yourself, what will saying anything do to change this? A HUGE percent of the time if you are honest with yourself, there is a very small chance you saying anything will make a change, so again, why say anything?

If you ask your self these questions honestly you will fix what needs to be fixed in life and move on when you should be moving on.

Brian

[MASTERBrian]

Thanks for the replies. I'll likely just sit on the quote and refrain from doing much for the time being....but being as the pool opens this weekend and I'm sure we'll see each other and it's bound to come up. I had a 12pack craft beer bet with a friend there that I'd have the Burb there opening day and she'd be running. Back in Jan/Feb, when I had the motor/trans/suspension torn out and being all rebuilt, I think he thought no way I'd have her going by then. Even with the usual setback's I hit my goal of being able to take and pickup our girls from school by the last day....

In any case, these obviously draw attention and thus I know everyone will ask about it and several others already know about this incident, so....I guess I'm in a wait game to see his comments!

Obviously, he has deep seated issues....worse part is he's passing those onto his kids. Will it happen again, he's already done something similar when driving my daily driver, but didn't make contact with vehicle that I recall.

As for a revenge streak, good question....would his wife back him, considering she said stop harassing them, I'd say 100%! I'm also basing this on many other factors. I have cameras on my house, I think he knows that, so he'd be stupid for trying something while it's there! I've definitely considered this!!!

[Foot Stomper]

Originally Posted by MASTERBrian

would his wife back him, considering she said stop harassing them, I'd say 100%!

My two cents... she has to live with him so making his life miserable may not bode well for her so she will do what she can to "keep the peace" at home...even if it means telling you to FO.

I like what Brian said about changing things that likely won't happen again.

I have been (I think most of have too) where you are and it eats my ass that some jerk gets away with **** BUT when time passes, I tend to forget about it which in turns helps me sleep better at night. Or, I go over and rip a strip off the asshole and get nowhere except having a rage party... sometimes it's worth that too... haha

Most times I just hope he gets it in the ass by someone else... which is more than likely anyway.

Cheers

post a picture of your burb! Love to see it!

[Port&PolishMan]

OK, so Maybe I lost something between the Lines - Your Banging His Wife and He only suspects it . . Or You use to Bang Her Hard in High School ?

He's got His Back up about something and is a General Denis the Menus . . In Your Direction !

Mild Assertive - Language - with Witness !

Possibly He is just a - Bully - and likes Tormenting Others ..

Tormenting Continues - have Your Friends Film His Actions when You come down the road with a Zone Lens - Video - take it down to the Locals - Sit there and Play it on the
Laptop ..

1 in the Area - without any Heads Up or Warning Goes out in the Yard - starts Banging away with Pistols . . Then have a Beer or two and break out the 50 Caliber ..
That Thing sounds like a Cannon even @ 600-700 ft away .
Last Yr. He managed to Kill a Neighbors Dog with a Ricka-Shay .. Things have been Quieter since then ..