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06-15-2023, 12:31 PM
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#1 |
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Post Whore
 
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Sacramento, CA
Posts: 10,803
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Your Best Chuck Norris Joke!
hit me with your best Chuck Norris joke, bonus points if it's car or truck related
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06-15-2023, 03:35 PM
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#2 |
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Registered User
Join Date: May 2021
Location: SoCal
Posts: 113
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Re: Your Best Chuck Norris Joke!
Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another fist. If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, 'Two seconds till.' After you ask, 'Two seconds to what?' he roundhouse kicks you in the face. |
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06-15-2023, 05:33 PM
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#3 |
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10/30/19
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: ottawa kansas
Posts: 5,200
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Re: Your Best Chuck Norris Joke!
Chuck Norris was in a cage with a tiger and the tigers trainer.
Chuck bent down and was petting the tiger and the tiger snarled , the trainer said get up and slowly back out of the cage. So the tiger got up and slowly backed out of the cage.
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Fight the good fight, finish the race, keep the faith |
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06-17-2023, 09:03 PM
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#4 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: hickory, ky
Posts: 1,253
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Re: Your Best Chuck Norris Joke!
"Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet"
"Chuck Norris got bitten by a Rattlesnake . After a week of excruitiating pain, the snake died" "Death once had a (near Chuck Norris experience"
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:My build thread http://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/s...d.php?t=807535 1971 c10 swb/1972 K10 swb/1968 Camaro 350/4spd 1955 210 2 dr sedan/1998 RCSB Z71 |
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06-18-2023, 09:24 AM
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#5 | |
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Post Whore
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Sacramento, CA
Posts: 10,803
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Re: Your Best Chuck Norris Joke!
Quote:
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06-18-2023, 10:30 AM
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#6 | ||
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Special Order
  
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Mt Airy, MD
Posts: 85,863
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Re: Your Best Chuck Norris Joke!
Quote:
Quote:
 Tie's his shoes?  I hope I can stop these giggles
__________________
"BUILDING A BETTER WAY TO SERVE THE USA"......67/72......"The New Breed" GMC '67 C1500 Wideside Super Custom SWB: 327/M22/3.42 posi.........."The '67" (project) GMC '72 K2500 Wideside Sierra Custom Camper: 350/TH350/4.10 Power-Lok..."The '72" (rolling) Tim "Don't call me a redneck. I'm a rough cut country gentleman" R.I.P. ~ East Side Low Life ~ El Jay ~ 72BLUZ ~ Fasteddie69 ~ Ron586 ~ 67ChevyRedneck ~ Grumpy Old Man ~ |
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06-18-2023, 10:38 AM
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#7 |
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Post Whore
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Sacramento, CA
Posts: 10,803
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Re: Your Best Chuck Norris Joke!
one of my faves:
When Chuck Norris was born, he cut his own umbilical cord then drove his mom home! |
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06-18-2023, 10:50 AM
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#8 |
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BlahBlahBlah
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Wa.
Posts: 19,786
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Re: Your Best Chuck Norris Joke!
Pulled these from an ancient Chuck Norris thread here on the board ....
Chuck Norris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise. If you have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars, Chuck Norris has more money than you. There is no 'ctrl' button on Chuck Norris's computer. Chuck Norris is always in control. There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live. When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down. The leading causes of death in the United States are: 1. Heart Disease 2. Chuck Norris 3. Cancer. Crop circles are Chuck Norris' way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie down. A Handicapped parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Chuck Norris and that you will be handicapped if you park there. chuck norris dosnt sleep .. he waits.... chuck norris dosent read, he just stares at a book and gets the infomation he needs.. behind chuck norris`s beard theres just another fist. chuck norris can lead a horse to water and make it drink. chuck norris thought brokeback mountian was about the pile of dead bodies outside his house. Chuck Norris puts the 'laughter' in 'manslaughter. Chuck Norris is so smart that Stephen Hawking stood up to bow down to him
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06-18-2023, 02:48 PM
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#9 | |
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Post Whore
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Sacramento, CA
Posts: 10,803
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Re: Your Best Chuck Norris Joke!
Quote:
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06-18-2023, 06:40 PM
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#10 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: PNW
Posts: 3,512
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Re: Your Best Chuck Norris Joke!
Chuck Norris knows Victoria's Secret...
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06-18-2023, 06:46 PM
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#11 | |
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Post Whore
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Sacramento, CA
Posts: 10,803
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Re: Your Best Chuck Norris Joke!
Quote:
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06-18-2023, 08:02 PM
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#12 | |
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: PNW
Posts: 3,512
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Re: Your Best Chuck Norris Joke!
Quote:
Did you know that the Swiss Army uses Chuck Norris knives? ; ) |
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06-18-2023, 08:04 PM
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#13 | |
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Post Whore
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Sacramento, CA
Posts: 10,803
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Re: Your Best Chuck Norris Joke!
Quote:
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06-18-2023, 08:50 PM
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#14 | |
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Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2015
Location: PNW
Posts: 3,512
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Re: Your Best Chuck Norris Joke!
Quote:
I heard Chuck Norris speaks braille... fluently. Last edited by LT7A; 06-18-2023 at 09:09 PM. |
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06-18-2023, 10:17 PM
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#15 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Jan 2016
Location: Barber City, CA
Posts: 4,730
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Re: Your Best Chuck Norris Joke!
the boogeyman checks under his bed for chuck norris
when chuck norris was born he slapped the doctor chuck norris claps with one hand chuck norris makes onions cry the boogeyman has nightmares about chuck norris superman wears a chuck norris watch the flu gets a chuck norris shot chuck norris can play the minute waltz in 30 seconds chuck norris beat the sun in a staring contest chuck norrris can ride a wheelie on a unicycle
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I started out with nothing - and I still have most of it |
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06-19-2023, 11:11 AM
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#16 |
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Post Whore
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Sacramento, CA
Posts: 10,803
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Re: Your Best Chuck Norris Joke!
Chuck Norris goes to McDs, orders a Whopper, and gets it!
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06-19-2023, 11:25 AM
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#17 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: killeen tx 76542
Posts: 193
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Re: Your Best Chuck Norris Joke!
Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerkey
Chuck Norris can gargle with chunky peanut butter Chuck Norris can round house kick himself in the head
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A C Ward Retired US Army 66 El Camino 67 SWB underwent major Surgery- http://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/s...d.php?t=776475 |
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06-19-2023, 04:08 PM
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#18 | |
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Post Whore
Join Date: Feb 2016
Location: Portland Oregon
Posts: 10,830
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Re: Your Best Chuck Norris Joke!
Quote:
__________________
Thanks to Bob and Jeanie and everyone else at Superior Performance for all their great help.  RIP Bob Parks. 1967 Burban the WMB,1991 S(stink)-10 Blazer,1969 GTO, 1970 Javelin, 1952 F2 Ford 4X4, 29 Model A, 72 Firebird. 85 Alfa Romeo If it breaks I didn't want it in the first place The WMB repair thread http://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/s...d.php?t=698377 |
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06-19-2023, 08:11 PM
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#19 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: hickory, ky
Posts: 1,253
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Re: Your Best Chuck Norris Joke!
"When Chuck Norris' parents had nightmares, they came to his room"
"Chuck Norris' belly button doubles as a power outlet" "Chuck Norris can drown a fish"
__________________
:My build thread http://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/s...d.php?t=807535 1971 c10 swb/1972 K10 swb/1968 Camaro 350/4spd 1955 210 2 dr sedan/1998 RCSB Z71 |
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06-21-2023, 07:47 PM
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#20 |
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10/30/19
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: ottawa kansas
Posts: 5,200
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Re: Your Best Chuck Norris Joke!
A snake bit Chuck Norris. After three days the snake died.
Edit: repeat of post # 4. Im workin on my attention to details.
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Fight the good fight, finish the race, keep the faith Last edited by kingsolver72; 06-21-2023 at 08:35 PM. |
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06-22-2023, 08:31 AM
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#21 | |
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Post Whore
Join Date: Aug 2014
Location: Sacramento, CA
Posts: 10,803
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Re: Your Best Chuck Norris Joke!
Quote:
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06-22-2023, 05:53 PM
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#22 |
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Registered User
Join Date: Mar 2016
Location: hickory, ky
Posts: 1,253
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Re: Your Best Chuck Norris Joke!
"Chuck Norris once punched a cyclops right between the eyes"
"Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone"
__________________
:My build thread http://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/s...d.php?t=807535 1971 c10 swb/1972 K10 swb/1968 Camaro 350/4spd 1955 210 2 dr sedan/1998 RCSB Z71 |
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06-26-2023, 12:04 PM
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#23 |
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Senior Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Northern Nevada
Posts: 7,129
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Re: Your Best Chuck Norris Joke!
Chuck Norris can speak Braille.
Chuck Norris can drown a fish. Chuck Norris can divide by zero. Chuck Norris beat the sun in a staring contest. Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are now known as giraffes.
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Tony 71 Custom Deluxe, SWB, 2WD, 402, A/C. I developed an assm. guide "kit" for restoring it from ground up. With assys, the guide accts for 1000s details such as OEM identifications& part numbers, written in short order. 700+ images include assm, illust., charts, and points of interest. Much of the info. applies to all 67-72 GM trucks, and to a lessor degree all 67-72 GM vehicles. My build thread, and more on the guide https://67-72chevytrucks.com/vboard/...d.php?t=730025 |
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06-26-2023, 02:40 PM
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#24 |
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10/30/19
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: ottawa kansas
Posts: 5,200
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Re: Your Best Chuck Norris Joke!
The way I heard it is that Chuck Norris stared at the sun once and the sun went blind.
Chuck Norris is what Willis was talkin’ about. Chuck Norris and Superman once agreed to fight. The loser had to wear his underwear on the outside his pants.
__________________
Fight the good fight, finish the race, keep the faith |
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06-26-2023, 04:03 PM
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#25 |
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Roadtrip!
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Grand Rapids MN
Posts: 13,707
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Re: Your Best Chuck Norris Joke!
I hear fire escapes were made so fire can escape chuck norris.
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67 gmc custom lwb dakota truck. Sold...And bought back 69 swb 4x4 project (in progress) 70 c-10 lwb texas truck 70 4x4/BB/bkts/posi/tach(retired) 70 swb (wifes) 70 jimmy camper 71 K-5 factory 2wd 71 cheyenne 4x4/tach/posi/ plow rig 71 Cheyenne20 BB, buckets, tach, tilt, 4 speed 72 jimmy CST wyoming rig 72 jimmy Colorado rig 72 lifted texas 4x4 3/4 ton burb 65 fury conv. 383/auto 65 chrysler 300 "L" 413 auto |
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