Live Every Day

[67ChevyRedneck]

Because you really don't know when it will be your last.

If anyone noticed, I was awfully quiet for a couple of months.

I developed a cough in early September, saw several doctors, got referred to specialists, and was treated for pneumonia.

I knew something wasn't right when after 10 days of antibiotics nothing changed.

In early October on a Friday night, I was having severe sharp pains in my back and right side, like I was being stabbed multiple times. I had my wife take me to the ER that morning. I had multiple blood clots gather in my lungs. But that wasn't the worst of it, my lungs didn't look right and my lymph nodes were enlarged.

We had hoped it was a treatable disease called sarcoidosis.

I was in the hospital for a full two weeks recovering. My blood work was all clean (with a few values low) so we remained hopeful. However, a bronchoscopy of my lungs revealed cancer tissue. ****. My lungs were still trying to heal from the clots and 600ml of blood/fluid was removed from around my right lung.

My doctors didn't believe that was the main site. I had a PET scan (strapped down to a table for 45 minutes, fun) and that revealed there was a small tumor, about an inch in size, inside my stomach. That was biopsied as well to reveal what was actually wrong with me.

I was diagnosed with stage 4 stomach cancer that had spread to my lungs and lymph nodes.

I just turned 41 and I have a 15 month old at home. This doesn't happen to 40 year olds...

My wife is a veterinarian so she knows a thing or two about biology and she wasn't happy with the treatment options locally, so we went to the Cancer Center in Atlanta where they have an entire gastro department and we were much happier with the options and doctors there.

I was bed/couch-bound for almost 2 months. My lymph nodes were so enlarged in my lungs they were pushing some of my airways closed. I lost over 20 pounds from my two week hospital stay and about another 5 after that, and I didn't have a lot to lose. I went from 205 to 180. I would get breathless just going up the stairs. I had a HORRIBLE cough still, it was from my airways being constantly irritated. I would have a coughing fit anytime I got up to go to the bathroom, walked up the stairs, or even ate food. I lost my appetite and had to force myself to eat several times a day. It was pretty awful. I began to wonder if I would ever have any kind of normality again. That's when I hit my lowest point. If I couldn't take my son for a walk, piddle in the shop, or go back to work, what was the point no matter how much time I might have left?

Then came my first round of Chemo on Friday, November 19 at the Cancer Center of Atlanta. They pumped me full of stuff to help you handle the chemo (steroids, anti vomit meds, etc) and I received my first round of chemo via IV. I was also to take an oral chemo pill 2x a day for 2 weeks. We drove home saturday morning, me riding shotgun because I was too weak to drive and hadn't driven a vehicle for months. I handled the chemo surprisingly well. I did have to take the anti vomit pills often, but never thew up and only had minor side affects.

I have literally hundreds of people praying for me, I'm on prayer lists from family members and churches all over the country. I was reading a book about a man who survived bone cancer and he quoted a bible verse, I don't have it in front of me, but to summarize it was "pray all you want, but sometimes God's answer is for you to get off your ass and make it happen".

By Wednesday, Nov 24th I was finally starting to feel better. To quote Red, it was time to "get busy living, or get busy dying". My wife had bought a wooden toy box/shelf for my son right before I got sick. I opened the box and struggled to drag it piece by piece into the living room. I had to take constant breaks. Something I could have normally done in an hour took 3 or 4. But I didn't give up. I got it assembled.

I was horribly weak by this point. I had lost so much muscle mass in my arms and legs, my legs would shake if I stood up too long. "Get busy living or get busy dying". I started slowly walking around the house for 5-10 minutes every hour or two. We had a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner with my inlaws the next day. I kept doing my slow walks. My cough was FINALLY getting better and my lungs felt stronger. My pulse ox for the past couple of months had been hovering between 88-92. It was finally getting up in to the mid 90's. I went with my wife to walk our son around the block (our neighborhood is seriously hilly). I had to take some breaks but I made it.

I've made such impressive improvements since Thanksgiving I went back to work yesterday. I took my son on a long walk to the park and back by myself and didn't get exhausted. I've also driven a couple 6+ hour round trip road trips to look at/buy a Jeep TJ (which I did buy to spend some time with little man out in the woods). My pulse ox is back up to 98/99, where it used to be.

I'm confident my chemo is working. I have a friend whose father in law has had stomach cancer for 15 years. He's had to go back on chemo several times, but he's in his 70s now. I have too much fight in me, the words quit and give up don't have a whole lot of meaning to me. I've walked through the valley in the shadow of death and came out the other side with a renewed will to go on.

If it wasn't obvious... the cancer was the initial cause of the blood clots and the tumor was causing my stomach to bleed which was all of the blood/fluid that had formed around my lung. The blood clots literally saved my life. I had NO symptoms, none (aside from the cough, but that was right at the end, this had likely been forming for at least the last 6 months/year +.) I've had acid reflux symptoms, but I've had that since College.

F*#@ Cancer.

Sorry that got so long, but I had a lot to say... and I WILL see this little man graduate from High School and drop him off at College.

[cwcarpenter98]

Dadgum, I'm glad to see that you didn't give up and you're still fighting through it. Cancer sucks!

[LT7A]

Oh man, wow. Thanks for telling about this. I hope you'll keep us updated. Add me to your list of people praying. Thanks for getting into specifics about your shelf assembly and walking around the house exercise regimen. For almost all of us, illness or no, it's so hard to make the effort in the face of something that feels hopeless, or see significance in small tasks. Please keep us posted.

[LockDoc]

-
Good eye opening read. Thanks for that. My sons wife passed away last spring from Pancreatic cancer at 50 years old. I think the mindset you have goes a long way towards beating it. Good on you. Enjoy that little man....

LockDoc

[Boog]

I am sorry to hear of you having to go through this. We never know what's going on inside our bodies. An old doctor once told me, a little pain can be a good thing. It let's you know something is going on inside that needs attention.
Also doctors say a person's state of mind is as important as the treatment they get in recovering from illnesses. It's too easy to sit down and give up.

I pray you make a full recovery and beat the C.

[FleetsidePaul]

Wow Jesse. I' m glad that you're felling better. That sounds like quite an ordeal.

I worked with a lady that had cancer. She was off work a long time but she fought it and she proudly came back with a big smile. She had a good attitude and she beat it. Attitude is everything.

[67ChevyRedneck]

It's amazing how quickly your "stuff" becomes meaningless. The trucks/cars, the shop, even the house. Just stuff, things.

My wife has been an absolute rock. She's the reason we went to Atlanta. She hates driving and she's driven us down and back 3 times now, an average of 3.5 hours each way through a traffic hell (CTCA is south of ATL well past the airport in Newnan, GA). I can drive this week when we go finally. She single handedly took care of me and my son for months on end, as I could barely get off the couch to pee.

On a side note, if you're looking for a nice place to move/retire... Newnan, GA and the surrounding area seem like a really nice place, DownTown Newnan is pretty neat, and the area where the cancer center is (up the road a ways) has every store and restaurant you could want to go to. But once you get past this stuff, it's all pretty country and 2 lane roads. Before my first treatment we just drove around for a couple hours.

[Rich84]

You have much to keep fighting for. As we all do. Good luck and I wish you a speedy recovery.

[Loco83]

Best of luck.
"Fight the Good Fight"

[truckster]

I'm sorry to hear that. My cancer treatment was the worst thing I've ever been through physically. I hope it all works out for you.

[68bowtie]

+1 praying brother

[Ironhorse]

Just read of this and have to say.....Good on you for taking the needed actions and good on your wife for leading the way in the fight for you. Have lost a couple family members to cancer to include my older brother, Roger. I so hate that evil disease. Sending good thoughts and prayers your way.

[Thealien]

First it is great to hear you are doing better!

In agreement with your post a good friend once told me "Tomorrow is not guaranteed for anyone"!

I have also been having a tough time and I am my 93 year old fathers sole care giver, he has Alzheimer's and Dementia. I have been trying to appreciate things I took for granted. Good luck in your continued healing.

[Palf70Step]

Dang Jesse. Glad to hear that things seem to be getting better. Good luck with everything and our prayers are going out for ya.

[Ronzo]

Best of luck, and keep fighting brother.
I was with both my parents through every chemo and radiation treatment they undertook fighting cancer until it took their lives. As the oldest child I considered it a blessing that I could be there for them when they needed help. And now that they are across the line and out of pain, I have to lean on my wife for support as my brain aneurysms are competing with newly discovered chronic pancreatitis over which one will hurt more when I wake up in the morning. I hope you continue to improve, and never discount the power of prayer.

[truckin 79]

Hey thanks for telling your story it was very inspirational. Thanks for that reminder that each day is a gift.
Stay Strong

[mongocanfly]

O wow..!...so sorry to hear this Jesse...keep up the fight.!!!!

[dave6672]

Originally Posted by truckin 79

Hey thanks for telling your story it was very inspirational. Thanks for that reminder that each day is a gift.
Stay Strong

Exactly what I was thinking. Thanks for sharing your story.

[yuccales]

Wow. Your picture of you and your boy speaks volumes. There is no way you are going to let this get you. I can tell! Take care, and tell your wife well done! Sounds like a great lady!

[Stocker]

There are times we fail to appreciate how well things are going for us. Then we read something like your story which you (thankfully) were willing to share with us. So sorry you had to endure all of that, and so very glad to hear you are emerging from that long dark tunnel and are looking forward to a bright and happy future. Cancer is terrible beyond words and many of us have been touched by it one way or another.

[KW5413]

A wonderful survivor story for the most wonderful time of the year.

Thoughts / fear that death will steal you away prematurely will restructure your priorities. So many things not said...not done. Thank God I did not go thru what you did. Mine was 9 days in the hospital with Covid. Last year, on Christmas morning, the 4th day in, the Docs told me I had a 50/50 chance of leaving alive. If my breathing didn't improve by the next day...they would have to ventilate me. Obviously, I pulled through. But, still have breathing issues. When I got home, I was on O2 24/7. Took me 10 minutes to make it up the stairs and another 10 minutes to recover my breath. An hour and a half to take a shower and dry off. Gasping for air as if each breath would be my last. Even today, I have, brief, labored breathing just walking out to the truck. Everything is in slow motion for me but, I am here.

I got to walk my youngest daughter down the aisle. Watch my Grand-daughter's soccer team win their National Championship. Help my oldest Grandson get into his 1st truck and celebrate my youngest grandson's 5th birthday. Not to mention The Queen and I celebrating our 38th anniversary. Everything is highlighted and much sweeter.

The other story...The Queen has her own near-death journey with covid. Our daughters took her to ER on Christmas Eve. I won't get into her details but, will leave it at...On Christmas Eve night, our family didn't know if they would see either of us alive again. We both did survive, so this Christmas is special in so many ways.

Your fight and recovery is both inspiring and remarkable. Someday your son will know your courage.

To those that are reading this, don't live life so fast you pass it by. Your loved ones will miss too much.

Be safe.

['63GENIII]

You've got the right woman. You've got the right attitude. Enjoy those treks out to the woods with that little man of yours. Everything else is gravy.

Good to hear you're on the mend!

[FleetsidePaul]

I agree with Chris. You have a good woman there. She must have been terrified.

As hard as an illness is on you physically, Imagine what is bouncing around in your loved ones heads, It has to have been torture. Thank god you both stayed strong.

Just remember that the dark days only remind you to appreciate what's important. Something that usually we all take for granted.

[special-K]

I'm sorry to hear of this dreaded disease coming into your life. It can't be easy, but you are handling it right. A thing is only completely bad if nothing good can come out of it. Cancer is very bad, and you have gained a lot of good from it. Thanks for opening up and sharing. That takes a lot in itself

[Ol Blue K20]

I'm glad you're doing better Jesse. I can honestly say that I understand your pain. Cancer Sucks!! Your personality and attitude help a lot. Keep on fighting and +1 praying for you!