Been a rough day day for me,did not do much

[chevlady]

It has been a rough day for me,did not do much.My husband betrayed me and I felt hurt inside.He left me for good and we were married for 16 years which is now down the toilet.Told me he did cheat on me with 5 other women this morning and one was an ex friend of mine.He has done this before,worked things out and told him it's over the next time it happens.He left for my ex friend.My mom tried calling me and would not answer.She came over and saw something wrong.Told her this tearing up,she did comfort me and has been there for support.Includes support from my step dad as well.Step dad has helped out,he has a friend that is a great divorce lawyer with a great record giving me her phone number which I will be calling her on Monday.I do have everything documented I own with pictures taken so he can't say they are his.His family has been great to me and mad at him,knew I did not deserve this at all.Me,know I will get through this and move on with my life.

[krue]

Damn, that sucks. Hopefully it will work out for the best in the end.

[chevlady]

It does suck,I now have regrets working things out with him the first time he did it.Said it would not ever happen again and lied to me.I am going to file for divorce this time.

[yuccales]

You take care.

[LockDoc]

-
I have never been divorced but some of my friends have. Seems like it is never a fun thing to go through. It certainly looks like he is not going to ever change, so you are probably making the right decision. Just take it slow and do what your attorney recommends during the process.

Good luck to you and know that your friends here support you.....

LockDoc

[Stocker]

Sorry to hear but it sounds like under the circumstances you are for sure doing the right thing. Best of luck, hope things get better soon.

[Coley]

Wow....to say you've had a rough day is a bit of an understatement.
Betrayal of that type is a terrible thing....and that guy deserves a boot up and through his behind.
Try to focus on yourself and your immediate well being...and let the goof go...physically and mentally.
Remember this tho'....there are better days ahead. You wont' know that today....but you will know it in less time than you think.
Good Luck

All good
Coley

[Grumpy old man]

Cheaters will always cheat again . It's that "the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence " Until they get there and find out it's crab grass !

We don't know the whole story and can only offer a shoulder to lean on , I've noticed more than a few stories of divorce in here recently and over the years and it's never easy for anyone concerned Especially the children who end up with the worst of the whole situation . NO ONE WINS .

If any marriage is truly done you should have an attorney to protect your rights (Husbands and wives ) Have NO contact other than thru your attorney and restart your life as soon as possible , let them handle it and flip the page to start again with your own best interests (Always children first ) And not look back ...Once it's done let it be done , Time is short in our lives and you may decide to change many things in yours .The idea is to make the best of the situation and ask yourself what and where do you really want to be ? maybe it's time for the new you to start a new life in a new town or strolling down the beach while those alimony checks roll in , Yes in Mi you can get alimony and if his new girlfriend 0r her new boyfriend is rich you can also sue her or him ! Don't look at it as a loss but maybe as a way to improve your life rather than deal with the lies of a cheater . All this applies to both men and women who find themselves in this unfortunate situation . It's never too late to start or restart your life ...Thank him or her and never stop smiling . Dance like know ones watching

Our Jails are filled with the scorned ex who thought they needed to get even with their ex ,Don't let that be you .You'll get more satisfaction by walking away gracefully ...

[chevlady]

Luckily no kids with him.He has a 19 year old son and 15 year old daughter by another woman.I have a few friends that will help me out through the divorce,they have been through one and say they can be a mess.One thing they said I did right was take pictures of my items I own also documenting them.

[Grumpy old man]

Be glad you won't be wasting more time ,Life's short be happy or make whatever changes you need to be happy . We only get to ride this ride ONCE .

[flashed]

I am so sorry to hear of this ,it happens way too often . Im single now (widowed) but had a wonderful marriage for 25 years ,she was my best friend and we did everything together . Its very hard to start over but you are strong and will be better on the other side of it .When my wife died these guys and gals here gave me comfort like no others could (still do) and we will be here and do the same for you .

Mr Grumpy Old Man has some great wisdom in his posts above and I dont think he is a Grumpy Old Man .
Best of luck to you ,stay strong and lean on us whenever you need to .
John

[chevlady]

Will be calling this divorce lawyer on Monday setting an appointment.My step dad has contacted her that I will be calling her on Monday.After the divorce is made final when this happens,Giving myself time and finding a new guy whom will be good to me.I am 39 years old and should not take this from him.

[Bomp]

My 2 cents for whats it worth.
Sorry you had/have to suffer through all this bad stuff.

Sever all accounts as soon as possible. All accounts.
Credit cards, loans, electricity bill,,, you name it. Let your creditors know you and he are no longer together.
My ex went out and maxed out everything a week after we weren't together. Even used my Social Security number to get new cards in mine & her name.
In one month she did more damage than the previous 8 years of Hell she put me through.

Sever All Accounts.

Just my 2 cents.

Life will get better

[Boog]

Chevlady, I too offer my sympathy for what you have been through. It sounds to me like he doesn't deserve you. It sounds like you have given the marriage much effort and still he's gone, again. It seems it's time to give up on him and move on. There is someone out there better and more worthy of your love and companionship.
I've not been through this but there is some real good advice given above. Protect yourself, financial and otherwise. In some states folks put a note in the local papers advising from a certain calendar date on you will be no longer responsible for anyone's debts but your own. Ask your attorney about that too to help keep your ex from racking up more debt now that he has left. If you own the house change the locks if he's already gotten his belongings. Sincerely.

[chevlady]

Originally Posted by Bomp

My 2 cents for whats it worth.
Sorry you had/have to suffer through all this bad stuff.

Sever all accounts as soon as possible. All accounts.
Credit cards, loans, electricity bill,,, you name it. Let your creditors know you and he are no longer together.
My ex went out and maxed out everything a week after we weren't together. Even used my Social Security number to get new cards in mine & her name.
In one month she did more damage than the previous 8 years of Hell she put me through.

Sever All Accounts.

Just my 2 cents.

Life will get better

Luckily I have my own credit card,banking account in my name.Same with our cell phone bills,his is in his name and mine is in my name.The electricity and natural gas bill,both in our names.Will be contacting them to see what it takes to put them in my name tomorrow too.

[Bomp]

Write down direct questions to ask your attorney. They get paid by the minute. Mine was $3 a minute. My first attorney cost me $8 to fire him. He'd yammer on and stick me with the bill.
Definitely Google what the laws are in your area. Knowledge is power. Knowing state/county laws will help.

If not already change your Will.
Personal property in the house. Here where I live if they leave and don't take it with them its yours.
Learned what "Possession is nine-tenths of the law. Possession is nine-tenths of the law is an expression meaning that ownership is easier to maintain if one has possession of something, or difficult to enforce if one does not."

Vehicle registrations too.

Had several 67 & 69 Camaro bodies in various stages of restoration or being parted out. Had all the titles, or she had them in a differently named file folder so when she handed me some paperwork crammed into a box I saw the folder name but failed to see the contents.
Lost 3 Camaros and one '69 long horn trailer. 18 years later 2 old guys showed up with a title they needed signed. First instinct was to tell them thanks for the car which was stolen from me in the divorce but I let it go. Signed the title, don't need things with bad memory around.

It was almost comical at times what my ex tried to pull. Even my attorney would get stumped. I'd dig in finding out what the laws are or look up past court cases to see what the out come were.
Knowledge is power, arm yourself to the teeth. You'll never regret it.
Good luck

[chevlady]

Originally Posted by Bomp

Write down direct questions to ask your attorney. They get paid by the minute. Mine was $3 a minute. My first attorney cost me $8 to fire him. He'd yammer on and stick me with the bill.
Definitely Google what the laws are in your area. Knowledge is power. Knowing state/county laws will help.

If not already change your Will.
Personal property in the house. Here where I live if they leave and don't take it with them its yours.
Learned what "Possession is nine-tenths of the law. Possession is nine-tenths of the law is an expression meaning that ownership is easier to maintain if one has possession of something, or difficult to enforce if one does not."

Vehicle registrations too.

Had several 67 & 69 Camaro bodies in various stages of restoration or being parted out. Had all the titles, or she had them in a differently named file folder so when she handed me some paperwork crammed into a box I saw the folder name but failed to see the contents.
Lost 3 Camaros and one '69 long horn trailer. 18 years later 2 old guys showed up with a title they needed signed. First instinct was to tell them thanks for the car which was stolen from me in the divorce but I let it go. Signed the title, don't need things with bad memory around.

It was almost comical at times what my ex tried to pull. Even my attorney would get stumped. I'd dig in finding out what the laws are or look up past court cases to see what the out come were.
Knowledge is power, arm yourself to the teeth. You'll never regret it.
Good luck

I have that covered,all my car titles are in my name and in my gun safe.

[Axle]

Sorry to hear.

Originally Posted by chevlady

Luckily I have my own credit card,banking account in my name..

Is he named as benifiary on any of your accounts? Usually not something that comes up until a death occurs. Not trying to be morbid, but just off from dealing with my mums estate, something to check on.

Alex.

[Palf70Step]

Sorry to hear that news. Hang in their, holler if you need an ear to cuss at. Unfortunately I have been thru that too.

[chevlady]

Originally Posted by Axle

Sorry to hear.



Is he named as benifiary on any of your accounts? Usually not something that comes up until a death occurs. Not trying to be morbid, but just off from dealing with my mums estate, something to check on.

Alex.

No,my brother is my benifiary and have this in writing

[cypressbog]

I hope things went good for you today and are feeling more empowered. Time won't take the hurt away it just allows you to get used to the pain. Every person that entered your life for 5 minutes at a grocery store to a mate of 16 years was put there for a reason. You are now much smarter because of it. Keep on - keeping on.

[67ChevyRedneck]

I don't have any advice to offer, except to keep busy to keep your mind on better things

[PanelDeland]

It's never an easy thing to go thru. My Sister had a marriage almost 22 years and he cheated. They divorced, his family kept her, literally. She had an accident and lost 8 fingers. Her former M-I-L and ex's stepdad moved her in with them to recover. He married the girl he cheated with. She was never in their home ever. My sister was there weekly and by her bedside when she passed. My sis and her Ex have a son and have remained friends because of that. He's on his 4th marriage and 3rd child.

I hope things work out well for you. Keep in mind that if you mentally make the decision to look at things from the positive aspect, this will seem more of a positive experience.

My last piece of advice. Stay single for a while. Date if you like. Take some time to be "YOU" and enjoy that. Then you can decide if you want a permanent relationship or not.

[Redneck Rydes]

I know this may not sound appropriate, but it sounds like this man shoud have his lower annotomy rearranged,hopefully it works out.I have some friends that went thru this and she came just fine.

[71CHEVYSHORTBED402]

I'm very sorry, but you're obviously better off without him.

I just divorced last week after a 32 year marriage. It's not fun, but is certainly doable. I recommend you determine and list all assets, and responsibilities such as kids. Document what goes where and who responsible, with fairness in mind. If you two agree on all terms then your divorce will run smoother, and you don't stand to be assaulted by blood-sucking attorneys. We only required one attorney, though he could only represent one of us. Truth is, you don't even need an attorney, but for 2K, it's worth it to ensure the process. The guy I hired does nothing but divorce.

We didn't have to deal with alimony or children, so it went very quickly. For the record "children" in divorce terms generally means under 18, or 18 if still in high school.

Good luck and move on. Expect some stress until done, but you'll adapt and be better for it.

Edit, I should mention my position is per a "no-fault" divorce, community property State. Others may differ. I assume "fault" would mean it's your husband's fault, which may mean you stand to get more. Whatever you do, don't let the attorneys steal from you by dragging things on.